Gayle Haggard

This morning I was watching Celebrity Wife Swap, and one of the couples was Gayle and Ted Haggard. For those who don't know (and I didn't until I watched this episode), Ted was a pastor at a fast growing, popular church. And I think he was pretty well known. Well one dat, a male prostitute came out and said that Ted, over the past 3 years had paid him for his...ahem, services, and for crystal meth. Well anyways, he admitted to it, stepped down from the church, packed up his family, and moved. And his wife stayed with him, despite him giving her many chances to divorce him.

Now I don't know much about the Haggards...like their exact beliefs, how they dealt emotionally and spiritually with this, etc. But what I do know is that Gayle showed what I consider one of the most powerful loves. I mean, even God says in the Bible that a man can leave his wife if she cheats on him - in fact that (and abuse) are the only valid reasons for divorce. So all my life I've said "Oh if my husband cheated on me, that would be it - I would leave with no second chance." Over the summer I read a Karen Kingsbury book about a woman who stayed with her husband despite him having a physical and emotional affair. And it revolutionized my thinking...because I had never really heard of a couple staying together after an affair (and then Oprah's "Stories of Betrayal" started, continuing to change my thinking). I think it shows the deepest love to stay with someone after being hurt like that.

However, I do think both people need to be willing to work on their marriage, go through counseling, build back up trust, etc. or it just doesn't work. And I'm not judging those who did get divorced for that reason - I'm not the one to decide whether ending a relationship was the right decision or not. I just had never considered the option of staying together after something like that and while I would never wish that upon myself or anyone else, I think it's possible for a fruitful, beautiful love could come out of that situation.

And while staying would be much harder than leaving, I think any couple who goes through that situation needs to remember their vows, and decide for themselves, with God and others' guidance. I'd like to think "til death do we part" actually means something in this broken, divorce filled world.

So my hat is off to you, Gayle Haggard, for keeping your marriage alive when the world was against you.