Journey

The majority of movies are about finding love. Finding that "one" who fills your world.

But what happens after?

Movies and popular media hardly focus on the "after." The weeks, months, years, decades of what true love is supposed to look like.

I have a hard time that relationships, specifically mine and Cal's, does not have a destination. There's no "end point" to reach... I've been dreaming up this blog for awhile, but now that I'm writing it, I'm having a hard time putting it into real words on paper (or a computer screen...).

There's a quote from a movie that I love that says "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." Even though I'm about to criticize that point, I still love it.

I'm having a hard time staying in the now rather than focusing on the future when "the rest of my life" with Cal is supposed to start. Like a really hard time. But, in reality, that already started. Our forever started on May 30, 2009. We just didn't know it yet. The last 2 and almost a half years have been SO great with him. We started out crushing on each other with having no previous friendship....so dating was a risk that we took. But dating turned into friendship which turned into love which turned into this beautiful mix of being best friends and a deep love that not everyone gets to experience. We have gone through SO MUCH with each other...both good and bad! A lot of people date for a year or so, some even less, before taking on marriage. But I'm beginning to realize how fortunate Cal and I are to have a long (seriously long, people!) dating relationship.

He used to be this hot young 18 year old high school baseball player that I fell in love with....and then he became the college guy I dated, now he's an almost 21 (6ish weeks away!!) year old mechanical engineer at NC State who works at an engineering firm. We've gone from being high school sweethearts to almost complete adults...crazy!!! And I was just a naive 17 year old who had never even kissed a boy! Now I'm 20 (20!!) and time is flying by in school. So much happens in three years. We've been to three State fairs (this past one was my favorite!), celebrated 3 of my birthdays (almost 3 of his), been on family trips (with both sides!), have been to 3 weddings, countless movies, plays, even more countless dates, etc. We've experienced the near death of a friend, a family death, a pet death. We've fought. A LOT. Some fights worse than others. One year I only saw him a once/twice a week. The next year we lived in the same dorm (BIG transition). Now we see each other a few times a week (we're actually like a regular couple!).

We cook. We shop. We go to sporting events. We go to church. We go to bookstores. We read. He helped me in the stress of picking a college (he was biased). We write letters to each other (one of his made me cry). We give spontaneous gifts. And coffee :) He steals my whipped cream. I rush him when we're late to something. I cut his hair. I nag him (sorry, babe). He doesn't always get my random emotions (they're sporadic). He holds my hand when I get shots. We go to Redbox nearly every weekend. We eat popcorn (too much). We work out together. I watch Dragon Ball Z with him. He helps me with homework. I crochet while he does his. We love Bruegger's and Chipotle and Kanki's. We're about to watch the season finale of Friends for the first time together, and we'll probably cry together. We go to track meets. We go to the beach. We play with my little brother. We take care of each other when we're sick. I make him listen to country music. He makes me listen to his CDs from 8th grade. We dance. We cry. We laugh. We inspire each other. We're best friends.

Life is a gift, and so is love. I was given my love at an earlier time in life than most people, and I will not take advantage of it. I have countless memories of the past 2 (and almost a half) years, and I can't imagine what the next 2(hundred?! If we're lucky and defy human biology) years will be like!

Every time I read this passage, I realize all that I do wrong.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I see what I do wrong, and I realize what Cal's doing right.

Thank you for loving me well, honey, and teaching me what love really is. I love you so much!

Just remember, no matter what kind of a relationship you're in, if you're in one at all, is a journey. LIFE is a journey. It ends so soon for so many, for reasons that can't be foreseen...don't take advantage of your time here.