On the Morning You Were Born (B-Bop)

Here we go again!

My sweet baby, I cannot wait to meet you. You have been stubborn like your brother and stayed head up the entire third trimester, and thankfully you didn't put me into labor, so we are headed into another C-section after months of mentally/physically preparing for an unmedicated VBAC. 

This morning feels a little different than the last time. I have more peace. I didn't wake up shaking or on the verge of throwing up. I got ready and had the energy to put on makeup and curl my hair. It's funny, last time we had countless visitors but I did not care at all what I looked like. Messy bun, no makeup, glasses. This time I know this will be the last morning I have the energy to do so, so I went ahead and went all out despite the Coronavirus keeping us from a single visitor this time! I love to listen to piano covers, they help relax me. So this morning I put on Spotify and the song that I've always imagined myself laboring to was the first one that played: "A Thousand Years." And it's true, little one. I have loved you for 1,000 years and I will love you for 1,000 more.

I was telling your daddy that I wonder if I am less anxious because I have been through this surgery before, or because your brother gave me the experience of being a mom before. I loved being pregnant with him, but I loved being a mama to him even more! This time around, I hate to say it, but my pregnancy has been much less enjoyable. A lot of factors play into that, and I think one of them is that I am just so excited to meet you and love you and take care of you more so than I ever knew before. 

While I have a lot of fears about the upcoming hours and days, my heart is ready for you. Last night we were both able to sleep! You were kicking a lot before bed, reminding us that you may be a night owl, so I'm thankful I got one last night's sleep. Your dad took NyQuil to help, haha. 

We are so excited to meet you. You've got a brother, Jericho, who may treat you more like a football than a baby, but he also is very excited to help say "it's okay, baby" when you cry. 

We can't wait to meet you and see who you are!! Love you so much already, baby. You are a gift to us.